Trevor Dunlap was walking around in his house. But it wasn't really his house because he took it from Winnie the Pooh after he killed him and had deep honey fried pooh bear for suppper. He keept the sign that said, "Mr. Sanders" above the door because he thought that it was funny. Plus people wouldn't bother him if they didn't know who he was. He really didn't like honey that much so he threw out five jars and only kept one for himself.This made pooh bear spin in his grave. Trevor hated the hundred acre woods so he burnt it all to the ground. This got rid of all those other pesky animals he ahd seen running around. HE kept Eyore's tail as gift because he needed a good peice of string. He made the wrong choice though because if it were good it wouldn't have kept falling off. But on the other hand, Trevor yanked it off his behing right before he set him on fire. So it could still be a good peice of string. After everything was taken care of he began to take care of the rest of pooh bears belongings. He pissed on them and lit them on fire with his own piss. He could do this because his piss was like pure Alcohol. He then went inside and lived up to his Irish Heritage. To be Continued.....

         (The Ed Sunday Show starts as normal. Ed Sunday comes out dancing to " Cotton Eyed Joe." Because of the excellent ratings of the wheel of torture show, everyone was expecting this show to be a million times better. This is also season 2 of The Ed Sunday Show.) Welcome back to my show, I'm your host Ed Sunday. I know all my fans have waited a very long time for the show to return as it has been almost a whole year. Well today I'm going to give the fans what they want. I'm back with a vengence baby. So to start the new year and my show off with a bang, I would like to introduce the unluckiest guy in the world, Bob Bobby Bobberson IV. Come on out here Bob. Before I tell the audience and Bob why he is unlucky, I must ask Bob one question. Bob, do you have any children? Bob replies," Well no I don't, but I would like to sometime." Well that's great news. Now I can tell you why Bob is unlucky. ( Sunday pulls out a desert eagle and BANG! blows Bob Bobby Bobberson IV away.) He is unlucky because he has a weird name and I hate people with weird names, So I killed him. It's a good thing too because I don't think I could have handled a Bob Bobby Bobberson V. The conclusion of this part of the show leads to todays topic, Famous people with weird names. Take Juicy Rooster, a famous chicken producer whose restaurant Juicy Rooster Chicken always came in second to Colonel Sanders KFC. He met his end when the Colonel decided to find out how juicy he really was if you know what I mean. Next we have Ding Wong Sue. He did exactly what his name says. If you ding his wong he will sue your ass off. He became famous because of a rarely known trial Wong vs. Michael Jackson at the age of 12. Last, but not least we have Mike The Serial Killing Fisherman Who Goes Crazy On The Audience When He Is On A Talk Show, but who has nothing against the host back by popular demand. ( the audience starts to get up and run away screaming). Just kidding. I wouldn't do that to all my loyal fans. Instead we have the atomic fart monster. (Sunday walks over to the exit). And as a special treat I'm locking all of you inside. That's all for today. See you next time. ( Sunday leaves and all the people begin running around scared as a big hairy green monster with a huge ass and razor sharp teeth begins sticking out his tongue and letting off rancid atomic farts. they smell so bad that one wiff makes your hair fall out, your eyes water, and your skin wrinkle up to make you look like your 150 years old. Those poor poor souls.)

Next: episode 6

The Fruit and Vegetable War

It was a dark night in the kitchen. Nobody was up and it was so silent you could hear a pin drop, but even in the dead of the night something big was brewing. All of the Fruits had gathered together to make a plan and take out the Veggies and all the Veggies had gathered together to make a plan that would take out the Fruits. Each food item thought that they were the better food and to prove who was right, they were going to have an all out Fruit and Vegetable war. Everything was set into motion that very night.

            The Fruits were the first to strike. The Pineapple and the Peach went and stole the Tomato from the Veggie camp because everyone can never make up their mind whether or not a tomato is a Fruit or a Vegetable. The Fruits decided to kidnap him and convince him he was a fruit. This made the Vegetables very mad and they sent Carrot, Potato, and Green Bean to go and get him back. To get to the Fruit camp, the Vegetables had to cross the sink and get into the cupboard underneath of it. When they had arrived, they slowly opened the cupboard and went inside.

            Inside it was deserted. Not a Fruit insight. They did see Tomato though. He was in the blender. To save him they would need to disconnect the electrical control device (the power cord). Carrot was the first to try and disconnect the cord, then Potato and then Green Bean. While all three of them tried to disconnect the power cord, they didn’t realize that they were slowly being surrounded by a group of Fruits. Before they knew it, they were outnumbered 6-3 or 2-1. There was Apple, Grape, Peach, Pear, Strawberry, and Orange. Orange and Apple ran towards Carrot. Carrot dodged them and took off towards the back. Grape and Pear made a dash towards Green Bean and held him down and beat him. Green Bean was so scared that he dropped a couple beans. The Peach and Strawberry attacked Potato with a giant potato peeler.  The Potato took them on with a look of fear in all of his eyes. What was going to happen to them?

            Outside the cupboard, Agent Corn was waiting for the distraction to begin. Once he heard the noise and the commotion, he went inside. He looked for Tomato and began racing towards him. He was almost there when a giant Banana jumped out in front of him, but the Banana was no match for Agent Corn, because he peeled him easily. He ran over to the blender and took out his little corn holder and cut the cord. Agent Corn then threw in a rope to help Tomato out, but he was to plump and ripe, so Agent Corn had to go in and try to help him out. When he was ready to get out though, the rope was gone. They were trapped. A few seconds later, Carrot, Green Bean and Potato were all in the blender also. They had lost the war. They had failed to rescue the Tomato. All of them decided not to worry since Agent Corn told them that he had at least cut the power cord, but little did they know that the blender was hooked up to an alternate source of power. All Pineapple had to do was flip the switch. He did and all the Fruits enjoyed enemy smoothies. The Fruits had won the war.

Scene: This is an office. It is set up like a Dilbert style cubicles. Almost
everyone there is in a state of stress and hates their job, but they put up
with it because it keeps the bills paid.

Narrator: Those who have worked in the office will tell you that it is a
major pain in the backside and very stressful on the mind, and that there is
no way out. The office is as one would say the place of the hot flame.
This ladies and gentleman, is the office.

Mr. Happy: (walks through the door) I love my job! (Walks up to Mr. Angry)
How is your day?

Mr. Angry: Screw off!!!

Mr. Happy: Sure thing buddy. (Tries his luck with Mr. Serious) How is your
day?

Mr. Serious: It was fine (blankly).

Mr. Happy: Do you want to hear a joke?

Mr. Serious: Sure.

Mr. Happy: (Sunday tell your joke)

Mr. Nobody: (walks up to Serious and Happy) Hey Guys! What are you doing?
(Continue telling joke) Do you want to hang out later? I'm having poker
night tonight. (Sunday finishes joke)

Mr. Serious: Ha ha. That was funny. (Mr. Nobody shrugs and walks off)

Mr. Angry: (Walks by screaming obscenities) Son-of-a gun, what the heck,
how in the bungling bananas, lousy good for nothing job...... (Stomps off)

Mr. Happy: I love that guy! (Walks off to the coffee pot)

Scene 2: The same office. At the coffee pot

Narrator: These are the thoughts of Mr. Happy.

Mr. Happy: (thoughts) Mmmmmmm....this is some good coffee. I wonder what
kind it is. Oh there it is right there on the cup. It's French Vanilla.

Mr. Angry: (walking by, smacks cup out of hand) Stop daydreaming and get a
life!

Mr. Happy: Ok! (Looks at the audience) Isn't he great? (Walks off and sits
down in his desk)

Scene 3: Meet the boss. This is the boss’s office. The boss is otherwise
known as Mr. Wacky

Narrator: Mr. Angry storms into the boss’s office. He finds Mr. Wacky
spinning circles really fast.

Mr. Angry: What are you doing!?

Mr. Wacky: I'm the mask.

Mr. Angry: Uhhhh! I can't stand you people! I Quit! (Storms off)

Scene 4: The office. At the desk of Mr. Serious

Narrator: Mr. Nobody walks up to Mr. Serious

Mr. Nobody: Hey, I didn't know if you heard me earlier or not, but do you
want to hang out later and play some cards.

Mr. Serious: (cleans out his ears. doesn't say a word)

Mr. Nobody: Ok, I can see that you’re deaf, so I’ll leave you alone. It's time
to go anyway. I'll see you tomorrow    (goes to desk and picks up his
stuff).  Good-night everybody (leaves the room).

Scene 5: The office. It is dim and everybody is getting ready to leave.

Narrator: Mr. Happy and Mr. Serious reveal why they don't talk to Mr.
Nobody. Mr. Angry is angry as always and states that he isn’t coming back.

Mr. Happy: (walking over to Mr. Serious) Did Nobody try talking you again?

Mr. Serious: Yea.

Mr. Happy: I wonder when he is going to realize that we don't speak
Spanish.

Mr. Serious: I wonder when he is going to realize that we don't understand
Spanish.

Mr. Happy: True.

Mr. Angry: I'll see you all.......never again! Ahaaaahhaaha! So long
suckers! (He leaves)

Mr. Happy:  That's the third time this week. He'll be back.

Mr. Serious: Yea. See you tomorrow (walks off and leaves)

Mr. Happy: (all alone looking around, Mr. Happy grabs his stuff and walks
towards the door. He takes a deep breath and says.....) I love this place (
and he turns off the lights and leaves)

The End

This is a riddle. If you get the riddle right You will get a peice of candy.

      Hello I'm Bo Red and this is Headline News. Todays Top Story: Squirrels Teaming Up, Causing Accidents. It seems that squirrels have had enough of people driving any vehicle or going anywhere near them, because it seems that people are having accidents caused by the squirrels when the squirrels run out in front of them on purpose. This has become a widespread pandemic that started in Texas somewhere by the Alamo and is already spreading all the way to Michigan. One local texan vows that he will go on a manhunt to capture the squirrel that jumped out in front of his super jet and made him crash into a tree. We'll keep you updated on any further outbreaks of this squirrel revolution.

      The Ed Sunday Show is becoming one of the hottest shows in the world. It broadcasts in 56 countries all over the world and everyone is raving about it. It has only been on for four episodes, but each show has been rated higher than the last one before it. The show has been criticized by some, but most people just don't give a fuck(Yes, I can say fuck because I'm uncensored)! The same thing goes for reality tv. The shows host, Ed Sunday, is up for best daytime tv talk show host.

      Police haven't been looking for the Burkhart kidnapper. They say they are actually glad someone put an end to his reign of terror. The reign of terror they are talking about: They said they are glad Burkhart is gone because now they can actually sit down and eat some donuts without them being gone by the time they get to the donut shop. So whoever took Burkhart, the police give you their thanks and by all means please don't return him.

In closing: Mickey Mouse died a few days ago. He fell out of a hot air balloon. He was born in 1928. He was really old. The funeral is.... I don't care. Who wrote this crap. Let's just say he is dead. Moving on, A recent study has shown that people who are excessively happy usually end up getting murdered by those who hate excessively happy people. Poor basterds. Last but not least, I hate broccoli. I hate it. This is Bo Red signing off. Thanks for watching. Stay tuned for more.

        Trevor opened door number 2. When he opened the door, he saw his own reflection. He was staring at his own reflection in what had appeared to be a mirror. He wondered why a mirror would be behind a door. The mirror looked a little strange. Sort of like looking into aluminum. He put his hand on the weird looking mirror. It went through it. When he pulled it back through he had a daisy in his hand. He thought nothing could be wrong with a mirror that also seemed to be a door and gave him daisys. He seemed to find comfort in getting a daisy ( his inner gay was trying to come out, put Trevor put him back in his place by throwing the daisy on the ground and stomping on it). Trevor went through door number two. When he came through the other side of the mirror, it was gone and he was in a lucious field with daisys and long prairie grass. Sort of like the great plains. When he looked around he saw a sign that said "Flushing Meadows", but Trevor only seen one toilet. Trevor goes over to it. He decides that since he hasn't for a long time and he has always wanted to take one in a field, that he was going to take a dynamite. He began to sit down when he heard the toilet scream. Trevor jumped up quicker than a squirrel with his nuts on fire. The toilet said," Wow, I really didn't need to see that. You have the smallest genitals I have ever seen. You should have that problem checked out." Trevor was in a state of shock. Trevor had never heard a toilet talk before and was curious if it had a name, so he asked, " Who are You?" The toilet told him that he was the All Knowing Toilet. He said that Trevor was allowed to ask him two questions and since he already asked himwho he was, Trevor had one question left. Trevor asked him how and when he was going to die. The All Knowing Toilet told him to take a seat in the grass. He was going to enjoy this story. The All Knowing Toilet began to tell him that he was going to die in a tragic viagra accident at the age of 243. He told Trevor that in the future they come out with fountain of youth pills and Trevor was one of the first peopleto try them out, which explains the old age. The accident with the viagra was that being that old,243, was that you were really wrinkled. Now you are wondering how can you be wrinkled with fountain of youth on your side? Well, there was a law passed that said you have to stop taking the pills at the age of 200 if you hadn't stopped taking them already. Then the medicine wears off in another 40-50 years depending on how long you took them and then you die. This is how Trevor Died. He dies when he takes the viagra because he hasn't had an erection in 175 years out of the 243 he has been alive and when you are that wrinkled and you haven't had an erection for a long time, strange things happen. The viagra caused him to get so hard that it made his skin very tight. It made it so tight that it caused the body to suffocate and he died. That is all the All Knowing Toilet had to say about that. Trevor thought it was a cruel way to die. The toilet just laughed and said, " At least you died with a smile on your face." Trevor had decided that he had had enough and wanted to leave. He asked the toilet how to get out of here. The toilet replied that he was only allowed to answer two questions and had already done so. Trevor began to unbuckle his pants. The All Knowing Toilet screamed and said, " ok ok. I'll tell you. Just keep that blue penis and tiny balls away from me." Trevor buckled his pants back up. " To get out of here and back into the castle, all you have to do is go through the door on the big weeping willow tree. " Trevor thanked him and was getting ready to go when the toilet stopped him and asked him a question," Will you please flush me? Some guy in 76' took a piss in me and I've had to live with this sour taste in my bowl for 30 years." Trevor headed towards the tree without flushing the All Knowing Toilet. The toilet just thought to himself, " wait until he sees what he finds behind that door."

Next: part 8

      The search for the Blue Umpa Lumpa was a long and tortureous one. The Umpa Lumpas had been marching for days and Clyde soon feared rebellion, because some of the troops were getting restless. They had yet to come across one single clue. Clyde himself did not know what in the world he was going to do to keep the team on board. He felt like an idiot, because he did not even known were to look or who to search for. This could not go on forever and he knew it. He had shopped the idea that they just give up and let Blue seal his own fate, because of how he treated all the Umpa Lumpas the previous years, but he had said he was sorry and he was one of them. On the other hand, what if it was all a lie and he would enslave them all again after they rescued him? These were the thoughts that went through his mind a these thoughts made him angry. Why should he go and help someone who would do such a thing to his own people? How could we even forgive him? He was a tyrant and no one wanted to be under the rule of a tyrant. He had made up his mind. He was calling the trip off. The Umpa Lumpas and he was going to take a vacation. He stopped marching. He turned around and addressed his fellow Lumpas. " Halt! I have an important anouncement. I have decided that this is all bullshit! Why should we look for someone who traded us in for slave labor. I say we quit this manhunt and go on vacation ( the army gives a joyous cry). So I guess you all agree then. Ok, where do we want to go? Does anyone have any suggestions as to where should all go?" One Umpa Lumpa speaks up, " I declare that we all go to Paris, France." Clyde responds,"Does anyone have any problems with that?" Another Umpa Lumpa raises his hand and goes, " I have a problem with it." Needless to say, that was the last time anyone ever heard from that Umpa Lumpa again. Clyde shouted, " It's off to Paris then. Viva La France!" So the Umpa Lumpas threw away all there army and weapon gear and put on their vacation clothes and hopped on a plane to Paris. Little did they know what they were going to find when they got there. They will have wished they kept all there gear.

Next: part 3